These past couple months, I’ve learned more about love than I’ve probably learned in my lifetime. The strange thing is that none of the concepts are new, but I’m seeing love in action; I’m understanding it. I’m experiencing it. And now, even more, I want to pass it on.
Somewhere along the way of life, I gained this deep-rooted idea that I was unloved, unaccepted. Most of my life, I’ve tried to impress, to fit in, to be accepted by someone, sometimes anyone. And in that journey, I always felt that it never led to love because I was imperfect. If only I could be perfect.
The sad part about this ridiculous ambition is that I also used this standard in reverse. I had the expectation that others should be perfect, too. And since no one is, I too had a hard time loving others.
As I’ve begun this journey to go share the love of Christ (is this ironic, or just God smiling? both?), my friends and family have come around me with such amazing support and love.
I think especially of Amanda, my FRIEND (and roommate), who wrote me a very kind card. In the card, she referred to me as “a godly woman.” She’s not one to say things she doesn’t mean. And at the same time, I know she’s seen me at my worst, having lived with me for two years. She knows my heart, and that includes my faults and my sins. As I read her card, I think so much truth was revealed to me. People don’t love me because I’m perfect. They love me because I’m me.
And it’s absolutely the same with God.
I know I’m imperfect, but I know I’m loved. I’m loved by many people, and more importantly, I’m loved by God.
Now, as I go, and as I am learning more and more about His love, I want to give it to others. I want to love people, not because they are perfect but because they are them.
Thank you, Lord, for the people you choose to use to reveal your love. It’s so intricate and personal, and it is a small reflection of who You are. Help me to keep looking to see You more.